“If one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours.” Henry David Thoreau

“Don’t ask what the world needs.  Ask what makes YOU COME ALIVE (my caps) and go do it.  Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.” Howard Thurman

The quest for fulfillment and possibility calls all of us several time during our lives.  As children, every year is a quest filled with new learning and edges as we crawl, walk, talk, read,  taste new foods; learn about numbers,  history, nature, physics; and about parents, siblings, pain, joy and video games.  We grow up to choose a career, friends and intimate relationships, whether to have our own children or not, and on and on.

As adults, our lives often become less adventurous and more about being prudent, healthy, and following all the rules we’ve internalized.  Eventually, we outgrow our status quo and must begin a new quest for fulfillment or we will “explode” with frustration, pent up desire, or illness.

You KNOW it’s quest time when you experience any of these symptoms:

* Work that was fulfilling is no longer
* You dread getting up and going to work
* You should be happy with everything, but you’re not
* Your long-time lover just left or you just left your lover
* Your health and vitality have diminshed
* Your life has taken on a predictability that is stifling rather than comforting
* You have dishonored one or more high priority values long enough and it’s time to express them  before you explode
* You ache, you long, and you may or may not be able to put your finger on what’s missing

Where do you begin? You begin where you’re at. You begin with love.  Love what’s here before you go on a quest for what’s not here yet.  Do not be afraid of or angry about where you’re at.  Allow and love the not job state; the extra 40,60,100 pounds; the mixed up relationship; the unpaid bills. Sit down next to your fears and have coffee with them. Just own them.  Love your ability to create.  Resisting what is tends to keep it in place.

I truly love to work with women who are on a quest of fulfillment, spirituality, and letting their brilliance finally and fully emerge.  I’ve been on physical quests up mountains and biking across the country.  I’ve been on healing, spiritual and and career / fulfillment quests. I’ve been on educational quests for knowledge.  I still take large and small quests.  Contact me for an exploration session about your quest – and join me on one of the Awakening to Your True Purpose calls.

Graphic: Through the Desert © Stiven | Dreamstime.com

I asked a client who was looking for work for months and frustrated to take a day off for her favorite activity, golf. She agreed not to spend any mental energy on her challenge and fears around finding work during the day.  A few weeks later, she had an offer.  I assert that the peace, centering, and rest afforded by a true, deep, fun chunk of time is invaluable for clear and heartfelt thinking, creative solutions, and results.  You all know that, but do you do it?  Do I do it?  No.

So, since I’m the coach here, I’ll ask the questions you’re expecting, and some you may not be expecting, to uncover something new about fun.  What’s your payoff for “keeping your nose to the grindstone”, for staying in electronic communication even when you’re out for fun, for never taking more than 24 hours off?  If we’re doing it, there’s a payoff.  And an underlying belief.

What’s the price you pay for going and going and going and going with the daily commitments?

Since fun leads to relaxing which leads to reduced stress (which is a physical state in your body that wears on it, not to mention your productivity and joy) which leads to increased health and creativity, what do you need to do to take care of yourself  for fun?  Will a few hours do it?  Or will it take a week or two or a month away?  A woman I’ve worked with has her own business.  She took two months off over the summer.  She was afraid she’d lose all her clients.  Many waited for her.  When she got back, she had more business than ever which has been steady for two years.

What brings you pleasure and joy?  Leave a comment. 

On a scale of 0 to 10, how fulfilled and satisfied are you in these eight major life areas? (10 is completely fulfilled, with nothing left out).

Fun and Recreation

Health and Fitness

Career

Money

Friends and Family

Significant Other and Romance

Physical Environment

Spirituality or Personal Growth

Do you have a clear, unobstructed path to getting to fulfillment in these areas and are you are on that path  with enthusiasm, optimism and effectiveness?

Do you know what you are best designed to do and be on this earth?  Are your head and heart are aligned; your soul and ego in partnership as you gloriously do the actions and have the impact that you love, love, love to do and be?

For those of you who are  finding clarity or momentum around career, money, relationships, fun, health, environment and/or joy while simultaneously in your busy life commuting, working, raising a family, or handling problems,  I invite you to consider an alliance with a professional to help you focus on you.  It might be a therapist, group, or coach (believe it or not, I’m partial to the coaching solution!).

Businesses readily hire coaches to ultimately improve their bottom line.  Well, the bottom line for your life is what you call fulfillment. That’s my business.  For a no-cost consultation,  call me (510-886-7374) or email me.  I am on purpose as a coach when I  create a courageous, energetic relationship with you so you can clarify and manifest your vision or dream.

Coaching Mode!

Ten years ago I hung up the phone and cried tears of gratitude after my first completion call as a coach.  I’ll call him Roy.  He had achieved his goal in about 5 or 6 sessions, and our final call was to acknowledge and celebrate and clean up anything left undone or unsaid.   He had trusted me with his life and heart; and allowed me to journey with him for a while as he created courage and stepped into a new, bigger experience in his life. That moment marked a turning point in my years of seeking fulfilling work, training, certifying, letting go of the old work, starting a business, marketing, and finally coaching.  It’s been many clients and sacred journeys since and I am filled with gratitude for all the people who have allowed me to serve their emerging brilliance.

Discover America, it’s 3,000 Smiles Wide

This summer marks the 25th anniversary of my bicycle trip across the United States – from Florence, Oregon to Washington, DC, and to Boston, Mass.  I’m writing to remember and see what I can learn and share from the journey.

In 1970 I’m 14 years old growing up in beautiful Iowa. One of my favorite activities is to get on my bike and ride out of Coralville (all of about 8 blocks). I roll through gentle rolling farmland and feel the earth through my tires; breathe the soft, hazy blue sky; and drink in the wild wildflower colors spicing up acres of green. Or I’d ride to Nancy M’s or Deb D’s house.

One day, I see a billboard advertisement at the local recreation center for Amtrak passenger trains. I attempted to re-create it here! Something in it speaks to me and a seed is planted. I want to discover if the United States really is 3,000 smiles wide. I don’t even think of it as a bike trip. And I don’t do anything about it but I have that feeling in my belly that I want to and I will do this. The Law of Attraction, sometimes known as the “Be Careful What You Ask For” Law begins to work.

I LIVE Here???

I grow up, go to college, meet and marry Mike, and move to San Diego with him. And I still don’t remember this dream. I ride my bicycle all around San Diego, La Jolla, and along the coast by Torrey Pines State Park. I finish at UC San Diego. Soon we move to Pebble Beach and I ride through the amazing seascapes framed with cypress, rocks, and seals. I cover Monterey, Pacific Grove, Carmel, Carmel Valley, and Big Sur on cold, grey winter days and fresh, early summer mornings. I play recordings of piano concerts while I ride alongside crashing foamy white waves, turquoise water, stately pelicans, sandpipers, piles of lichen-crusted rocks, and fleshy ice-plant. I’m at home on my bike – by moving and being in nature. I’ve begun to discover America.

While my work life as a tech support manager and software engineer is quite stressful and miserable (it’s not at all on purpose for me), and my marriage is a bit clumsy and unsatisfying (we are 22 with no clue, and thousands of miles from our families), my bike and camera keep me grounded and sane.   Things take a turn for the worse in ‘82, and I soon find myself taking refuge on my wheels.

Love like you’ve never been hurt and live like it’s heaven on Earth.”

– Mark Twain

Dance Like Nobody's Watching

Sing like no one’s listening.
Listen like the speaker is divine.
Work like you’ve never been burned or burned out.
Do relationships and conversations completely -whole, nothing left
out, all is said, and any mess is cleaned up.
Play like a child.
Paint like everybody loves your work!
Feel your grief to the depth of your soul.

Laugh from the depth of your soul.
Live like a child – from moment to moment – emotionally present to every shift and new discovery.
Learn something new every day.
Work like you don’t need the money.
Wear your favorite colors.
Whatever it is, don’t wait until the special occasion to use it or
say it.  Right now is a special occasion.
Take this opportunity to be yourself.  Do it again now.  And now…

Sleep like it’s the best vacation you could ever give yourself.  It
is.
Treat your body like you’ll never be able to replace any parts.
Make up with someone.  Forgive someone.  Set down the burden of
resentment or guilt.
Live like you just fully recovered from a life-threatening illness.

Thank 10 people for their contribution to you.
Walk in nature like you belong with her.  You are made of her.

Action

Take action on whatever of these resonate with you.  And choose one
that doesn’t. Live fully without the stops for a few moments or a
few days, and notice what happens in you and around you.  Thank you.

Leave a comment – what in this list are you taking on and why?

One of my big aha’s this week as I remembered this bike trip with a coach, is that I had a plan for the trip.  It was simple.  Every day I got up and pedaled at least 60 miles down a very clear path – the road – unless it was dangerously hot or pouring down rain.  The road took me east every day.  Not north, south or west.  East towards Boston and the Atlantic Ocean.  As long as I followed the road, and kept safety precautions, I would get to Boston, to Deborah D.s house – my best friend from high school.  Now, the problem with me in my business is that I keep changing plans.  I change marketing plans, I change my goals, I change niches. I doubt my vision.  I worry about money.  I take exits off the road to visit giant balls of string and two headed snakes.  I wander north and south and wonder why I’m no closer to Boston.

The road and my goal focused all of my energies. It kept me true and on task.  Sure, I never saw the two headed snake, but I reached Boston, I accomplished my goal.

Action

Take stock of your plan. What is it to honor it?  What are your two-headed snake detours?  What are three changes you’ll make to your plan or how you honor it?  I invite you to respond in the comments.  Thank you for the courage to invent yourself everyday into your greatness.

Consistently.

Laugh when you forget.

Honor your soul before you honor the cage of beliefs  that keep you predictable, safe, and fitting in with your tribes.

Your soul won’t steer you wrong.  If the word soul is too spiritual, honor your personal heart wisdom.

Do what you love.  Be who you are.  Consistently.

Why am I saying this?  Most of my life, and I imagine yours, has been spent sacrificing soul for safety, money, and fear.

I have a free teleseminar today, “Insider Truths to Unleash Your Success”, at 6Pm Pacific for more on this topic.

Brilliant Gorgeous Talented Fabulous

Marianne Williamson spoke here in the San Francisco bay area this week.  She talked about asking the big questions in politics.  What are the radical questions, the ones a child might ask. Like why do 16,000 children die of hunger every day?  She got me looking at where I play small, hide my brilliance, and avoid the big questions.  What beliefs do I hold that allow me to  tolerate that death rate?  (someone else can take care of it; I’m too small). What is really hurting in my clients? (fear, despair, anger, doubt; needing to re-invent themselves as their “employer” rather than the corporation) Will I go there and address that pain for as long as it takes to heal and give its gifts? (I have done so.  I need to be vulnerable and strong, just like my clients). What’s small about my business and how I play the game? (When I’m one-one with clients I am willing to stand on the brink with them as they step into their unknown.  I don’t yet hold raw and vulnerable conversations with my audiences.  Now’s the time to step out and do that.) I choose out of this conversation to hold bigger conversations.  I will ask bigger questions of myself and my work and my clients and audiences, and stand for bigger answers and responses.  If not me, then who?  If not you, in your area of purpose and passion, then who?

Action
As I ask you these questions, I ask them of me as well.  What’s the next bigger arena that will call forth your greatness and use your purpose?  What’s your payoff for avoiding it?  What’s the price you and the world pay?  What story stops you? What is the first step for {!firstname}?  Take it this week.  If that step has you freeze, find a way to unfreeze.  Break it down into smaller steps, find colleagues, get a coach.

Thank you for your courage, purpose, passion, and your fears, concerns.  It’s all good.

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate, our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.  It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.  We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous?’  Actually, who are you not to be?

You are a child of God.  Your playing small does not serve the world.  There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you.  We were born to manifest the glory that is within us.  And as we let our light shine we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.  As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” —Marianne Williamson