Posts Tagged ‘choice’

Turn-on is compelling, enrolling, motivating, creative, fun…..and more.  At a women’s group this week we filled two flip chart pages with words defining and expanding what turn-on is. I realized that when I’m turned-on, things get done, business flourishes, life works, and relationships are alive.  When I’m turned off, the opposite is true.  I never thought of it this way, but one of my joys as a coach is to support turn-on in my clients.  Turn-on keeps their energy, juices, ideas, connections flowing in a project, business, relationship, etc.

Napoleon Hill, in his book “Think and Grow Rich” has a chapter called “The Mystery of Sex Transmutation”.  He says that the highly successful people he studied and those he read about  going back 2000 years “possessed highly developed sex natures”.  In other words, they’re turned on!  He writes about transmuting sexual desire from only physical expression to creative and intuitive and mental outlets.

“Sex desire [turn-on] is the most powerful of human desires.  When driven by this desire, men [and women] develop keenness of imagination, courage, will-power, persistence, and creative ability unknown to them at other times.  So strong and impelling is the desire for sexual contact that men [and women] freely run the risk of life and reputation to indulge it.  When harnessed, and redirected along other lines, this motivating force maintains all of its attributes of keenness of imagination, courage, etc., which may be used as powerful creative forces in literature, art, or in any other profession or calling including, of course, the accumulation of riches.” Napoleon Hill

Many of my clients have been looking for work, and they are not turned on.  Sometimes we find that the kind of work they feel they should be seeking is not really the work they desire right now.  They get turned on when they let their dreams come to the surface.

Mini-Coaching:
If you’re not turned-on about something you care about, just notice without judging what is happening.  Explore the circumstances and the environment around you as well as within you.  Get curious about what might be the turn-off.   Don’t immediately try to fix it- keep exploring and allowing it to be for a few hours or days.  Begin an inquiry, “What is turn-on for me?”  “Where am I turned on in my life?”  “What’s happening in me and around me when I’m turned on?”  When you’re ready, turn up the turn-on in your turned-off situation by experimenting with inspired changes and actions.  I’m available to work with six more clients in August for you to make some powerful changes here.

Have a hot, turned-on rest of the summer, because why not?  What’s turned on in your life?  Why?

Late May and June signal the end of the school year here in the US and students are graduating from their complete course of study or their grade level.  So, in this time of  endings and new beginnings, I invite you to do a Life Happiness Checkup.  Take a look at your life situation today and ask yourself the following questions.  You can also  download the Wheel of Life Checkup form.  It’s easy and takes only 5 minutes or less.

On a scale of 0 to 10, how fulfilled and satisfied are you in these eight major life areas? (10 is completely fulfilled, with nothing left out).

Fun and Recreation

Health and Fitness

Career

Money

Friends and Family

Significant Other and Romance

Physical Environment

Spirituality or Personal Growth

Do you have a clear, unobstructed path to getting to fulfillment in these areas and are you are on that path  with enthusiasm, optimism and effectiveness?

Do you know what you are best designed to do and be on this earth?  Are your head and heart are aligned; your soul and ego in partnership as you gloriously do the actions and have the impact that you love, love, love to do and be?

For those of you who are  finding clarity or momentum around career, money, relationships, fun, health, environment and/or joy while simultaneously in your busy life commuting, working, raising a family, or handling problems,  I invite you to consider an alliance with a professional to help you focus on you.  It might be a therapist, group, or coach (believe it or not, I’m partial to the coaching solution!).

Businesses readily hire coaches to ultimately improve their bottom line.  Well, the bottom line for your life is what you call fulfillment. That’s my business.  For a no-cost consultation,  call me (510-886-7374) or email me.  I am on purpose as a coach when I  create a courageous, energetic relationship with you so you can clarify and manifest your vision or dream.

Come home to yourself – to the very alive, sweet, precious experience of your own body, your personhood – its culture, values, beliefs, biology, purpose and passions.   Home is your body, your spirit, your mind.  Home is you.  It’s to know yourself as whole, complete, capable,  and creative.   And to feel your energy, your own energy vibrating in your cells, to be fully awake to experience this moment.

Come home.  Why come home to you?

1. To know your own wisdom,  value, values, preferences, purpose.  To get to know you like you know your Facebook community or co-workers.  To discover the culture that is unique to you.
2. To experience the very alive, sweet, precious essence of you.
3. To  love.  To know love – love of yourself and others.   To grow love so that when you’re with partners, children, colleagues, family and friends you have your own wellspring of love to bring to the relationship.  You are not needing love.  You are full and  sharing it.
4. To choose.  The input of the world meets your own personal biology, beliefs, values, and purpose when you come home in order to choose.  Your choices will honor your own personhood – not that of the outer world.  You can say yes to a request from being home rather than from not knowing home and thinking that what others want is also good for you.   You can say no, thank you.  You can honor the wisdom of your body in order to sustain your own inner peace and follow your purpose.
5. To rest.  Your lives are lived at a tremendous pace – every 5 years adds dozens of new distractions, games, shows, demands, and possibilities.  Bodies are built to recieve input – nerves fire and process all over them all day long.  Sleep is a way of coming home.  And so is hitting the pause button in the middle of the day.  When I feel exhausted in the day, often just five minutes of quiet time re-energizes me.

How do we come home? Here are my suggestions – you check out your own biology, life, and style and discover what coming home is for you.

1. To begin, stop  leaving your home, your body / mind / spirit for a period of time each day.   Sit here and just know you.  Even if just for a minute a day to begin.
2. Come home from phones ringing, buzzing or vibrating;
3. and  music, no matter how spiritual it is to you.
4. Come home from digital images flickering through your eyes and brain.
5. Just for these moments,  come home from  people in your space
6. and thoughts churning about problems.  Yes, you can pause them.
7. Come home to your presence in nature, in quiet, in reduced input.
8. Yes – seated, standing, or lying down.  Yes – awareness and senses turned inward.
9. Try the meditator’s way to center -  be aware of your breath. If you are doing this for a minute that is about 10-12 calm breaths.  That’s all.  Be aware of your breath in your nose, throat, chest.  Good.
10. Massage is good for becoming aware of your body.  Start here.
11. At any given moment, just tune in-ward.  After a workout,  during or after a meal, during or after sex, during or after an argument, turn your awareness inward for a deep and pleasurable homecoming.

Now that you have come home, what inspired actions arise from your connection to yourself?  Write them down, then take off!

I offer coaching and workshops on inner peace, and taking off from there

In what ways do you come home to yourself?  What do you discover?

Look up high in the rafters of the circus tent.   Trapeze performers in glitter and glory release one swing and gracefully  fly through the gap for a brief second until they grasp the next swing, perfectly timed for their arrival.  In that brief moment in the gap, all structure is gone and there is nothing.

Are you experiencing the Gap?  Have one or more of your structures crumbled, walked off, or booted you out?  Have you chosen to discard structures in your life?  Are you in the gap that exists before you grab onto the  next structure?

We often struggle, cry, and rail against that gap.  But what a delicious time!  This is where you are creative,  acting on faith, intuition, and courage, even though you may feel terrified.  You know you are alive.   What would it be like to relish this crazy, uncertain, risky but alive moment of life?   What about holding this moment as flying, as needing all your wits and energy, as a demand to draw on your creativity and resourcefulness?

OK, what about you who have no job, been unable to find work, and are losing things that matter to you like cars, homes, and savings?    Where’s the glitter in that?  On the one hand, yes, it’s messy, scary, and undesired.  On another hand,  what skills have you honed or created?  Who have you met you wouldn’t have met?   What have you learned?  What are you willing to learn?  What if you were five years old and didn’t know enough to be scared, what would you do in this gap?  Yes, these are not easy, but they are  what grow us.

I’m celebrating 25 years of marriage this month.   My former husband divorced me and sent me reeling into the gap for a year.  I learned who I was, what I wanted;  I learned that I could be fine on my own; I learned what I wanted in a partner; and I learned where I failed in the relationship.  I would not be here without that gap.

What have you discovered in your time in the gaps?  Will you share it?

Success is an inside job – it begins in the heart with what matters to you, what you love, and what brings you joy.  Maybe it’s numbers, or music, or cooking, or inspiring, or teaching.  This you knew when you were a child – it is what attracted your attention and was joyful.  Unfortunately, we often choose to ignore our heart in favor of shoulds, opinions, fears.   It can be a long journey back to the heart.

Once you find your way back to your heart, the head does the implementation. It works out the details, gets the help, designs, and plans in service of the heart.

Finally, success is an outside job.  The body gets into action with speaking, writing, building, selling,dealing and doing whatever it takes to bring to reality the heart’s passions and purpose.  This is the most challenging step – to go from the mental, emotional and spiritual energy of the heart and head to the slower, denser, physical energy of the body and of making an idea real.  Just know that it is normal to have bumps and setbacks bringing your brilliance to reality.  

And, when actions and goals are aligned with the heart’s purpose, those goals flow, things work better, and the transition to the physical has more grace and synchronicity.

Moving gracefully from inside to outside, may your success flow in 2010.

Coaching Mode!

Ten years ago I hung up the phone and cried tears of gratitude after my first completion call as a coach.  I’ll call him Roy.  He had achieved his goal in about 5 or 6 sessions, and our final call was to acknowledge and celebrate and clean up anything left undone or unsaid.   He had trusted me with his life and heart; and allowed me to journey with him for a while as he created courage and stepped into a new, bigger experience in his life. That moment marked a turning point in my years of seeking fulfilling work, training, certifying, letting go of the old work, starting a business, marketing, and finally coaching.  It’s been many clients and sacred journeys since and I am filled with gratitude for all the people who have allowed me to serve their emerging brilliance.

We are deep into autumn here in the U.S. and the energy has softened and cooled from the brilliant summer days.   This reduction in energy and light affects us.  While the West does not pay much attention to the change, the Chinese, for example, recognize the seasons and their influence on the earth and our bodies.  Nature displays the change very clearly – it brings forth vegetables and fruits – the result of the sunshine, nutrients and water building all spring and summer.  The end of a project.  Leaves go to work one last day to produce food for the tree; they give a last brilliant signature color, then let go.  The end of a project.  The animals that hibernate or travel south begin to shut down or shove off.  The end of a project. As the light changes, so do we.   Our bodies start to pull in, its energy shifts to our core away from the extremities as we prepare for less heat and light.  The end of a project, or many projects.  The bright, fast energy of summer is giving way to the softer, slower light of autumn. There is a pause, even a sadness in the air as we say goodbye to the sun.  And it is good.  The rest is good. It is time to gather the vegetables and fruits and clear out the vines that produced it.

“Dance like no one is watching. Sing like no one is listening.

Love like you’ve never been hurt and live like it’s heaven on Earth.”

– Mark Twain

Dance Like Nobody's Watching

Sing like no one’s listening.
Listen like the speaker is divine.
Work like you’ve never been burned or burned out.
Do relationships and conversations completely -whole, nothing left
out, all is said, and any mess is cleaned up.
Play like a child.
Paint like everybody loves your work!
Feel your grief to the depth of your soul.

Laugh from the depth of your soul.
Live like a child – from moment to moment – emotionally present to every shift and new discovery.
Learn something new every day.
Work like you don’t need the money.
Wear your favorite colors.
Whatever it is, don’t wait until the special occasion to use it or
say it.  Right now is a special occasion.
Take this opportunity to be yourself.  Do it again now.  And now…

Sleep like it’s the best vacation you could ever give yourself.  It
is.
Treat your body like you’ll never be able to replace any parts.
Make up with someone.  Forgive someone.  Set down the burden of
resentment or guilt.
Live like you just fully recovered from a life-threatening illness.

Thank 10 people for their contribution to you.
Walk in nature like you belong with her.  You are made of her.

Action

Take action on whatever of these resonate with you.  And choose one
that doesn’t. Live fully without the stops for a few moments or a
few days, and notice what happens in you and around you.  Thank you.

Leave a comment – what in this list are you taking on and why?