“If one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours.” Henry David Thoreau

“Don’t ask what the world needs.  Ask what makes YOU COME ALIVE (my caps) and go do it.  Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.” Howard Thurman

The quest for fulfillment and possibility calls all of us several time during our lives.  As children, every year is a quest filled with new learning and edges as we crawl, walk, talk, read,  taste new foods; learn about numbers,  history, nature, physics; and about parents, siblings, pain, joy and video games.  We grow up to choose a career, friends and intimate relationships, whether to have our own children or not, and on and on.

As adults, our lives often become less adventurous and more about being prudent, healthy, and following all the rules we’ve internalized.  Eventually, we outgrow our status quo and must begin a new quest for fulfillment or we will “explode” with frustration, pent up desire, or illness.

You KNOW it’s quest time when you experience any of these symptoms:

* Work that was fulfilling is no longer
* You dread getting up and going to work
* You should be happy with everything, but you’re not
* Your long-time lover just left or you just left your lover
* Your health and vitality have diminshed
* Your life has taken on a predictability that is stifling rather than comforting
* You have dishonored one or more high priority values long enough and it’s time to express them  before you explode
* You ache, you long, and you may or may not be able to put your finger on what’s missing

Where do you begin? You begin where you’re at. You begin with love.  Love what’s here before you go on a quest for what’s not here yet.  Do not be afraid of or angry about where you’re at.  Allow and love the not job state; the extra 40,60,100 pounds; the mixed up relationship; the unpaid bills. Sit down next to your fears and have coffee with them. Just own them.  Love your ability to create.  Resisting what is tends to keep it in place.

I truly love to work with women who are on a quest of fulfillment, spirituality, and letting their brilliance finally and fully emerge.  I’ve been on physical quests up mountains and biking across the country.  I’ve been on healing, spiritual and and career / fulfillment quests. I’ve been on educational quests for knowledge.  I still take large and small quests.  Contact me for an exploration session about your quest – and join me on one of the Awakening to Your True Purpose calls.

Graphic: Through the Desert © Stiven | Dreamstime.com

I’m sitting in a new deli and coffee shop in my neighborhood to write this.  It’s so wonderful – the delicious food is Afghan -and the decor is rich gold / burnished trim, vibrant pink, green, orange, blue and yellow accents.  It’s warm, alive and inviting and it’s the only one of its kind in the city.  Cafe-Rumi at www.cafe-rumi.com.  The owners are delighted to be here, they have wanted this a long time; they have given themselves over 100%.  And they are attracting business.  Read more to explore the idea of 100%.

I just got off a phone call about enrollment with Patrick Ryan of Awakened Wisdom Experiences (http://www.awakenedwisdom.com) and he said the biggest difference in enrollment of clients (or in a marriage or a project or relationship or anything in life) is your enthusiasm.  If you are willing to “throw yourself down on the mat and give yourself over 100%” to what it is that you are engaged in, the people you are talking to will get that about you.  Everything else you say or do will support that when you bring it to the conversation.  There are a hundred ways to throw yourself into it at 100% – aggressively, quietly,gently, intelligently, etc. – whatever is appropriate to you.

Patrick says to ask these questions regarding your commitment to a project, relationship, etc.

* The first step is to check and see if you are at 100%.
* If not, ask if you are willing to go to 100% engaged.
* If you are not willing, then ask what’s needed to be willing.
* If you are willing, ask what’s needed to be 100%, then take action.

These are wonderful questions.  He doesn’t want you to figure out why you’re not at 100% but if you’re willing to go there.  He doesn’t ask you to figure out why you’re not willing, but what’s needed to be willing.  They engage you in forward momentum, not in paralyzing analysis.

This discussion lead me to notice where I am not at 100%, and it’s uncomfortable as well as an opportunity to call me forth.   It’s exciting to see an opportunity for growth.  I’d say my marriage has been fulfilling for 25 years because we both chose to give ourselves over to it 100%.  My business struggles when the 100% enthusiasm sags and erodes in the wake of discouragement or fear. And discouragement and fear are the ideal triggers to throw myself on the mat at 100%.

Mini coaching:

Pick a project you’re doing or a relationship you’re in and ask the questions that Patrick suggests above.  If you’re doing it, isn’t it worth doing at 100%?  Otherwise, why bother?  What would your world be like to “throw yourself down on the mat and give yourself over 100%” to everything that mattered, including your downtime, intimate time, work time, playtime, think time? Great!  Leave a comment-thanks!

Peace has an outer definition: “a state of mutual harmony between people or groups, esp. in personal relations: the normal freedom from civil commotion and violence of a community; public order and security “. Outer peace is possible when enough of us choose inner peace.

Choice – that is what you have. You can choose to be aligned with purpose and values; you can choose self love and love; you can choose to be present rather than resentful or worried. You can choose from inner peace in your thoughts and words and actions to bring about a more peaceful world. What’s possible if you lived peace? What if it took a lifetime to cultivate? What a journey! What if it took a moment to finally find peace and know how to return?

Mini Coaching – Recall times of inner peace in your life.  If you cannot, then imagine it from stories and pictures.  What’s it like?  Who are you being here?  Who are you not being?  What choices did you make to be peace?   Recall times of peaceful expressions among people.  Who are you being here?  Not being?  What choices were made to foster peace?

What did you discover?  What do you want regarding peace?  Leave a comment.

Napoleon Hill, in his book “Think and Grow Rich” has a chapter called “The Mystery of Sex Transmutation”.  He says that the highly successful people he studied and those he read about  going back 2000 years “possessed highly developed sex natures”.  In other words, they’re turned on!  He writes about transmuting sexual desire from only physical expression to creative and intuitive and mental outlets.

“Sex desire [turn-on] is the most powerful of human desires.  When driven by this desire, men [and women] develop keenness of imagination, courage, will-power, persistence, and creative ability unknown to them at other times.  So strong and impelling is the desire for sexual contact that men [and women] freely run the risk of life and reputation to indulge it.  When harnessed, and redirected along other lines, this motivating force maintains all of its attributes of keenness of imagination, courage, etc., which may be used as powerful creative forces in literature, art, or in any other profession or calling including, of course, the accumulation of riches.” Napoleon Hill

Many of my clients have been looking for work, and they are not turned on.  Sometimes we find that the kind of work they feel they should be seeking is not really the work they desire right now.  They get turned on when they let their dreams come to the surface.

Mini-Coaching:
If you’re not turned-on about something you care about, just notice without judging what is happening.  Explore the circumstances and the environment around you as well as within you.  Get curious about what might be the turn-off.   Don’t immediately try to fix it- keep exploring and allowing it to be for a few hours or days.  Begin an inquiry, “What is turn-on for me?”  “Where am I turned on in my life?”  “What’s happening in me and around me when I’m turned on?”  When you’re ready, turn up the turn-on in your turned-off situation by experimenting with inspired changes and actions.  I’m available to work with six more clients in August for you to make some powerful changes here.

Have a hot, turned-on rest of the summer, because why not?  What’s turned on in your life?  Why?

On a scale of 0 to 10, how fulfilled and satisfied are you in these eight major life areas? (10 is completely fulfilled, with nothing left out).

Fun and Recreation

Health and Fitness

Career

Money

Friends and Family

Significant Other and Romance

Physical Environment

Spirituality or Personal Growth

Do you have a clear, unobstructed path to getting to fulfillment in these areas and are you are on that path  with enthusiasm, optimism and effectiveness?

Do you know what you are best designed to do and be on this earth?  Are your head and heart are aligned; your soul and ego in partnership as you gloriously do the actions and have the impact that you love, love, love to do and be?

For those of you who are  finding clarity or momentum around career, money, relationships, fun, health, environment and/or joy while simultaneously in your busy life commuting, working, raising a family, or handling problems,  I invite you to consider an alliance with a professional to help you focus on you.  It might be a therapist, group, or coach (believe it or not, I’m partial to the coaching solution!).

Businesses readily hire coaches to ultimately improve their bottom line.  Well, the bottom line for your life is what you call fulfillment. That’s my business.  For a no-cost consultation,  call me (510-886-7374) or email me.  I am on purpose as a coach when I  create a courageous, energetic relationship with you so you can clarify and manifest your vision or dream.

Come home.  Why come home to you?

1. To know your own wisdom,  value, values, preferences, purpose.  To get to know you like you know your Facebook community or co-workers.  To discover the culture that is unique to you.
2. To experience the very alive, sweet, precious essence of you.
3. To  love.  To know love – love of yourself and others.   To grow love so that when you’re with partners, children, colleagues, family and friends you have your own wellspring of love to bring to the relationship.  You are not needing love.  You are full and  sharing it.
4. To choose.  The input of the world meets your own personal biology, beliefs, values, and purpose when you come home in order to choose.  Your choices will honor your own personhood – not that of the outer world.  You can say yes to a request from being home rather than from not knowing home and thinking that what others want is also good for you.   You can say no, thank you.  You can honor the wisdom of your body in order to sustain your own inner peace and follow your purpose.
5. To rest.  Your lives are lived at a tremendous pace – every 5 years adds dozens of new distractions, games, shows, demands, and possibilities.  Bodies are built to recieve input – nerves fire and process all over them all day long.  Sleep is a way of coming home.  And so is hitting the pause button in the middle of the day.  When I feel exhausted in the day, often just five minutes of quiet time re-energizes me.

How do we come home? Here are my suggestions – you check out your own biology, life, and style and discover what coming home is for you.

1. To begin, stop  leaving your home, your body / mind / spirit for a period of time each day.   Sit here and just know you.  Even if just for a minute a day to begin.
2. Come home from phones ringing, buzzing or vibrating;
3. and  music, no matter how spiritual it is to you.
4. Come home from digital images flickering through your eyes and brain.
5. Just for these moments,  come home from  people in your space
6. and thoughts churning about problems.  Yes, you can pause them.
7. Come home to your presence in nature, in quiet, in reduced input.
8. Yes – seated, standing, or lying down.  Yes – awareness and senses turned inward.
9. Try the meditator’s way to center -  be aware of your breath. If you are doing this for a minute that is about 10-12 calm breaths.  That’s all.  Be aware of your breath in your nose, throat, chest.  Good.
10. Massage is good for becoming aware of your body.  Start here.
11. At any given moment, just tune in-ward.  After a workout,  during or after a meal, during or after sex, during or after an argument, turn your awareness inward for a deep and pleasurable homecoming.

Now that you have come home, what inspired actions arise from your connection to yourself?  Write them down, then take off!

I offer coaching and workshops on inner peace, and taking off from there

In what ways do you come home to yourself?  What do you discover?

Are you experiencing the Gap?  Have one or more of your structures crumbled, walked off, or booted you out?  Have you chosen to discard structures in your life?  Are you in the gap that exists before you grab onto the  next structure?

We often struggle, cry, and rail against that gap.  But what a delicious time!  This is where you are creative,  acting on faith, intuition, and courage, even though you may feel terrified.  You know you are alive.   What would it be like to relish this crazy, uncertain, risky but alive moment of life?   What about holding this moment as flying, as needing all your wits and energy, as a demand to draw on your creativity and resourcefulness?

OK, what about you who have no job, been unable to find work, and are losing things that matter to you like cars, homes, and savings?    Where’s the glitter in that?  On the one hand, yes, it’s messy, scary, and undesired.  On another hand,  what skills have you honed or created?  Who have you met you wouldn’t have met?   What have you learned?  What are you willing to learn?  What if you were five years old and didn’t know enough to be scared, what would you do in this gap?  Yes, these are not easy, but they are  what grow us.

I’m celebrating 25 years of marriage this month.   My former husband divorced me and sent me reeling into the gap for a year.  I learned who I was, what I wanted;  I learned that I could be fine on my own; I learned what I wanted in a partner; and I learned where I failed in the relationship.  I would not be here without that gap.

What have you discovered in your time in the gaps?  Will you share it?

Once you find your way back to your heart, the head does the implementation. It works out the details, gets the help, designs, and plans in service of the heart.

Finally, success is an outside job.  The body gets into action with speaking, writing, building, selling,dealing and doing whatever it takes to bring to reality the heart’s passions and purpose.  This is the most challenging step – to go from the mental, emotional and spiritual energy of the heart and head to the slower, denser, physical energy of the body and of making an idea real.  Just know that it is normal to have bumps and setbacks bringing your brilliance to reality.  

And, when actions and goals are aligned with the heart’s purpose, those goals flow, things work better, and the transition to the physical has more grace and synchronicity.

Moving gracefully from inside to outside, may your success flow in 2010.

Coaching Mode!

Ten years ago I hung up the phone and cried tears of gratitude after my first completion call as a coach.  I’ll call him Roy.  He had achieved his goal in about 5 or 6 sessions, and our final call was to acknowledge and celebrate and clean up anything left undone or unsaid.   He had trusted me with his life and heart; and allowed me to journey with him for a while as he created courage and stepped into a new, bigger experience in his life. That moment marked a turning point in my years of seeking fulfilling work, training, certifying, letting go of the old work, starting a business, marketing, and finally coaching.  It’s been many clients and sacred journeys since and I am filled with gratitude for all the people who have allowed me to serve their emerging brilliance.