Posts Tagged ‘Happiness’

The sun bounced off the water on a beautiful summer afternoon at Lake Chabot where I was walking with my business partner, Julia.  She’s about to take off for 10 days and won’t be looking for internet connections or have her cell phone on. We started looking at how, even http://www.emergingbrilliance.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/07/Dreamstime-Mountain-Hiker-150×150.jpgthough we own our own businesses, we don’t shut down and take off for fun.   We need fun, happiness and laughter for health and creativity.

I asked a client who was looking for work for months and frustrated to take a day off for her favorite activity, golf. She agreed not to spend any mental energy on her challenge and fears around finding work during the day.  A few weeks later, she had an offer.  I assert that the peace, centering, and rest afforded by a true, deep, fun chunk of time is invaluable for clear and heartfelt thinking, creative solutions, and results.  You all know that, but do you do it?  Do I do it?  No.

So, since I’m the coach here, I’ll ask the questions you’re expecting, and some you may not be expecting, to uncover something new about fun.  What’s your payoff for “keeping your nose to the grindstone”, for staying in electronic communication even when you’re out for fun, for never taking more than 24 hours off?  If we’re doing it, there’s a payoff.  And an underlying belief.

What’s the price you pay for going and going and going and going with the daily commitments?

Since fun leads to relaxing which leads to reduced stress (which is a physical state in your body that wears on it, not to mention your productivity and joy) which leads to increased health and creativity, what do you need to do to take care of yourself  for fun?  Will a few hours do it?  Or will it take a week or two or a month away?  A woman I’ve worked with has her own business.  She took two months off over the summer.  She was afraid she’d lose all her clients.  Many waited for her.  When she got back, she had more business than ever which has been steady for two years.

What brings you pleasure and joy?  Leave a comment. 

Late May and June signal the end of the school year here in the US and students are graduating from their complete course of study or their grade level.  So, in this time of  endings and new beginnings, I invite you to do a Life Happiness Checkup.  Take a look at your life situation today and ask yourself the following questions.  You can also  download the Wheel of Life Checkup form.  It’s easy and takes only 5 minutes or less.

On a scale of 0 to 10, how fulfilled and satisfied are you in these eight major life areas? (10 is completely fulfilled, with nothing left out).

Fun and Recreation

Health and Fitness

Career

Money

Friends and Family

Significant Other and Romance

Physical Environment

Spirituality or Personal Growth

Do you have a clear, unobstructed path to getting to fulfillment in these areas and are you are on that path  with enthusiasm, optimism and effectiveness?

Do you know what you are best designed to do and be on this earth?  Are your head and heart are aligned; your soul and ego in partnership as you gloriously do the actions and have the impact that you love, love, love to do and be?

For those of you who are  finding clarity or momentum around career, money, relationships, fun, health, environment and/or joy while simultaneously in your busy life commuting, working, raising a family, or handling problems,  I invite you to consider an alliance with a professional to help you focus on you.  It might be a therapist, group, or coach (believe it or not, I’m partial to the coaching solution!).

Businesses readily hire coaches to ultimately improve their bottom line.  Well, the bottom line for your life is what you call fulfillment. That’s my business.  For a no-cost consultation,  call me (510-886-7374) or email me.  I am on purpose as a coach when I  create a courageous, energetic relationship with you so you can clarify and manifest your vision or dream.

A Leg UP

“One of the great discoveries of human unfoldment is that happiness and joy are not effects, but causes…The happy person is forever encountering things…to vindicate his happy spirit.” Eric Butterworth

Happiness is a choice

Happiness is a choice and it doesn’t come from outside, as much as the advertisers and transformation gurus want us to believe that it does. They say, “Buy this sexy car; great hair color; get your lashes thick, long, with no clumps and then you will be happy.” “Get the relationship, the promotion, the fit body, then you will be happy.”

Our culture and language habits make happiness appear to be achieved by accomplishment or product. This is like people believing the sun revolves around the earth because that’s the evidence. Happiness doesn’t revolve around things or accomplishment. Things and accomplishment revolve around happiness and joy. Watch babies learn to walk. They don’t deprive themselves of happiness until walking is achieved. In fact, they’d probably take a lot longer to learn if they weren’t happy.

So Choose it

I was doing sit up/ crunches yesterday and I didn’t feel all that happy so I didn’t feel like doing them. Then I decided just to laugh as I counted out my allotment of crunches, and it was easy to laugh! It was contagious and kept itself going and lifted my mood for the rest of the day! Hah! I didn’t have to buy a new car, get my hair colored with the latest and greatest, lose that extra weight, or solve global warming. In the moment, in the present, in the now, we can choose. “There is no way to happiness, happiness is the way.” says Eykis.

According to my friend and Law of Attraction Coach, Noelle,…You ALWAYS get back what you put out; NO EXCEPTIONS!” So put out joy, fun, whimsy, glee, laughter, chuckles, jubilance, happiness, smiles, giggles, jokes, cheer, ecstasy, playfulness. Noelle is the happiest person I know – she watches her thoughts and nearly always allows the thoughts that feel good, and discards the thoughts that don’t. She does this in the midst of challenges that would put many of us on a downward spiral of despair because we forget we can choose.

Don’t Dumb Down Your Joy

Not only do we mistakenly believe that happiness is a result of circumstances, we also believe that we need to stifle our joy because others don’t have as much or we can’t boast or show pride. What on earth good does it do to dumb down our joy because the world is in a pickle, a spouse is mad or sick?! Eric Butterworth writes, “At the very time when we need more light, we reduce the flame of jubilance, and walk in darkness.”

How Do I Generate My Own Happiness?

To turn up the flame find one small thing to be grateful for – and then another and savor them. Also, we can recall and talk of successes and what works. Simply smiling or laughing changes your energy.

OK, go ahead and laugh. Make up a belly laugh. I was struggling with writing this article – so I just started laughing. It’s much easier to have ideas flow through a joyful mood. I also invite you to see if you can make others happy – that might make you happy. Notice if it’s their choice or you can force it on them.  Just “don’t worry, be happy” this week.

Follow your joy to activities and perspectives that have you thrive. It’s definitely in my territory as a coach -much of my work is about reconnecting people with their purpose, their strengths, and rekindling joy for their lives.

Coaching Mode!

Ten years ago I hung up the phone and cried tears of gratitude after my first completion call as a coach.  I’ll call him Roy.  He had achieved his goal in about 5 or 6 sessions, and our final call was to acknowledge and celebrate and clean up anything left undone or unsaid.   He had trusted me with his life and heart; and allowed me to journey with him for a while as he created courage and stepped into a new, bigger experience in his life. That moment marked a turning point in my years of seeking fulfilling work, training, certifying, letting go of the old work, starting a business, marketing, and finally coaching.  It’s been many clients and sacred journeys since and I am filled with gratitude for all the people who have allowed me to serve their emerging brilliance.

We are deep into autumn here in the U.S. and the energy has softened and cooled from the brilliant summer days.   This reduction in energy and light affects us.  While the West does not pay much attention to the change, the Chinese, for example, recognize the seasons and their influence on the earth and our bodies.  Nature displays the change very clearly – it brings forth vegetables and fruits – the result of the sunshine, nutrients and water building all spring and summer.  The end of a project.  Leaves go to work one last day to produce food for the tree; they give a last brilliant signature color, then let go.  The end of a project.  The animals that hibernate or travel south begin to shut down or shove off.  The end of a project. As the light changes, so do we.   Our bodies start to pull in, its energy shifts to our core away from the extremities as we prepare for less heat and light.  The end of a project, or many projects.  The bright, fast energy of summer is giving way to the softer, slower light of autumn. There is a pause, even a sadness in the air as we say goodbye to the sun.  And it is good.  The rest is good. It is time to gather the vegetables and fruits and clear out the vines that produced it.

“Dance like no one is watching. Sing like no one is listening.

Love like you’ve never been hurt and live like it’s heaven on Earth.”

– Mark Twain

Dance Like Nobody's Watching

Sing like no one’s listening.
Listen like the speaker is divine.
Work like you’ve never been burned or burned out.
Do relationships and conversations completely -whole, nothing left
out, all is said, and any mess is cleaned up.
Play like a child.
Paint like everybody loves your work!
Feel your grief to the depth of your soul.

Laugh from the depth of your soul.
Live like a child – from moment to moment – emotionally present to every shift and new discovery.
Learn something new every day.
Work like you don’t need the money.
Wear your favorite colors.
Whatever it is, don’t wait until the special occasion to use it or
say it.  Right now is a special occasion.
Take this opportunity to be yourself.  Do it again now.  And now…

Sleep like it’s the best vacation you could ever give yourself.  It
is.
Treat your body like you’ll never be able to replace any parts.
Make up with someone.  Forgive someone.  Set down the burden of
resentment or guilt.
Live like you just fully recovered from a life-threatening illness.

Thank 10 people for their contribution to you.
Walk in nature like you belong with her.  You are made of her.

Action

Take action on whatever of these resonate with you.  And choose one
that doesn’t. Live fully without the stops for a few moments or a
few days, and notice what happens in you and around you.  Thank you.

Leave a comment – what in this list are you taking on and why?

A Leg UP

I just finished watching  Michael J. Fox  special on optimism.  He visited a country between India and China called Bhutan.  They measure their Gross National Happiness instead of their Gross National Product.  Wikipedia says, “While conventional development models stress economic growth as the ultimate objective, the concept of GNH claims to be based on the premise that true development of human society takes place when material and spiritual development occur side by side to complement and reinforce each other. The four pillars of GNH are the promotion of sustainable development, preservation and promotion of cultural values, conservation of the natural environment, and establishment of good governance.”

What if we measured our GPH- Gross Personal Happiness. What would your GPH be based on?   Productivity?  Integrity?  Laughter?  Connections?  Income?  Balance?   How are you doing with it?  Leave a comment and let us know.

The anniversary of the moon landing reminded me of the anniversary of a life-changing journey I created.  Twenty five years ago this summer I was riding my bicycle solo across the United States.  I was in Yellowstone and Grand Teton National Parks on 7/24/84 sharing two lane roads with gigantic motor homes – worse than the east coast traffic!

One of my big aha’s this week as I remembered this bike trip with a coach, is that I had a plan for the trip.  It was simple.  Every day I got up and pedaled at least 60 miles down a very clear path – the road – unless it was dangerously hot or pouring down rain.  The road took me east every day.  Not north, south or west.  East towards Boston and the Atlantic Ocean.  As long as I followed the road, and kept safety precautions, I would get to Boston, to Deborah D.s house – my best friend from high school.  Now, the problem with me in my business is that I keep changing plans.  I change marketing plans, I change my goals, I change niches. I doubt my vision.  I worry about money.  I take exits off the road to visit giant balls of string and two headed snakes.  I wander north and south and wonder why I’m no closer to Boston.

The road and my goal focused all of my energies. It kept me true and on task.  Sure, I never saw the two headed snake, but I reached Boston, I accomplished my goal.

Action

Take stock of your plan. What is it to honor it?  What are your two-headed snake detours?  What are three changes you’ll make to your plan or how you honor it?  I invite you to respond in the comments.  Thank you for the courage to invent yourself everyday into your greatness.